Saturday, December 28, 2013

you don't have to fuck the rich, they've already fucked themselves

but was it worth it?
to turn gifts of love to gold
now gold is all that remains?
did it ever buy you
anything worth having?

Sunday, December 15, 2013

happy holidays, y'all

christmas always sucked. with the little charlie brown tree mom picked up for deep discount (sometimes free) on christmas eve, i would wrap my baby blanket around its base, hoping maybe we could have a happy holiday, just once... but that never happened. not really. never got the presents i wanted, well except that one year there was a mountain of presents, after the parents divorced, and everyone must have pitched in to help us have presents under the tree. but the giant size barbie i wanted most of all turned out to not be near as much fun as the ad on teevee made it seem. that year, i got what i wanted and christmas still sucked. so i kinda quit doing the holidays when i was old enough to stay home when the family went visiting relatives or whatever... just wasn't with it. the bad boys got all the cool toys because their parents had money. santa was a fake. it just totally sucked and i wanted no part of it.

and then...
many many years later, decades later, in fact.
something magical happened! i had children of my own! and a mission to not let christmas suck for them like it always did for me. and it took me a while, but i started actually enjoying the decorations, and the cookies, the songs, and even the gift-giving. last year was the best christmas, ever! so this one won't suck, either. because my children taught me how to enjoy their childhood, since i never did really enjoy my own.

peace on earth
goodwill toward men
and women and children
and all the little critters, too

(added the following as an afterthought)

i still wrap that same blanket around the base of our tree. except the year meriel wouldn't let me take it from her for that purpose, because she had claimed it for her own.

i remember when i got that blanket, too. dad was working at macy's so was in the parade. i guess it was where monica was born, she was still a baby. not petersburg, somewhere close to there, can't remember. so we went to watch the parade and it was real cold. a stranger gave me that blanket, just out of the kindness of his heart, to help keep me warm.

so that blanket i guess was my reminder that i needed reminded of today. i took it with me to college. somehow, even through the first marriage, when i left just about everything i owned behind, i held on to that blanket a stranger gave me when i was very small. one small act of kindness that always stayed with me.

Friday, December 13, 2013

to be free...

wishes are wasted
on trivial things
like fame and fortune
and success

you can dream bigger than that

some people never learn:
gifts are meant to be given away,
and when you use them for profit,
or personal gain, or to hurt people,
you don't get any more of them.
but when you share them freely
they will take us one step closer
to that which we all wish for
the freedom to be ... to be free

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

but wait! there's more!

and i can call it poetry
and you can pretend
it's not about you

here be monsters!

ego is a self defense mechanism too?
and we build these defenses for protection
but what they do is imprison us
and hurt anyone who gets too close

conscious awareness would seem to be
the answer to the question nobody is asking.
so there's denial involved, which says
there is nothing to be aware of,
go back to sleep.

i know the way
to where?
nobody wants to go
here be monsters!

i can't go there for you,
but i can show you my scars

ahhhh... the scars...
they prove i can heal.
the scars where
defenses used to be.
they aren't gone though
they don't ever go away
my awareness only means
it can't control me anymore

Saturday, December 7, 2013

who you gonna follow?

it's kinda like somebody who was born blind gonna describe colors to you. it's not that they aren't intelligent enough, it's just that they lack the experience from which to draw any conclusions that really count.

in a world of colorblind people, i'm certain those who see color would be considered insane.

and the attempt to make it stop, to not be such a freak, to pretend like you don't see the pretty colors that nobody else can see, that would turn anybody insane. for real.

and then someday science might prove to the colorblind world that color really does exist, and the oppressed and persecuted crazy color-seers were right all along...


or maybe they would rather find some special light therapy that would blind those who see color, and put them out of their misery.

anything to make it stop

Thursday, December 5, 2013

hush now

did you hear that?

a whispered memory
of a promise made
very long ago?

no, it was
at all

maybe the breeze
stirred the tatters
this raggedy shirt
my favorite one
don't know why
i can't throw it out

Friday, October 18, 2013

smoke and mirrors, again

it's a model
a representation 
of what is real, 
because the models 
can be controlled
bought and sold.
truth is free
it has to be.

copy/paste from recent conversations elsewhere

you can't buy spiritual wisdom, it's not for sale. you can buy books, and you can read about other spiritual people all you want, and you can repeat the things you heard people say about it, and you can take classes even, it is not the same thing as living your own truth. nobody can give it to you what is already yours, but they can sell you a bucket o' bullshit, and if you pay enough for it you will swear you like it and even try to convince other people to buy some too.

and if you can afford the really expensive bullshit, then you might get yourself a certificate or some other qualification to start selling bullshit of your own to other idiots just like yourself, who are too fucking afraid to find their own truth. it's safer that way, and that grants some people special status above other people who can't afford the fancy stuff.


i think most people are basically good, and don't really want to hurt anybody. that's why they get so upset whenever anybody points out how their words and actions do sometimes hurt.

and so, rather than admit how they been tricked and played for fools, they must pretend their actions don't hurt anybody, and to discredit and destroy those who might raise their voices in a chorus of pain and anger that nobody wants to hear.


i think the stupid is an act.

fear is the real problem.
fear makes people act stupid.

Friday, October 4, 2013


being a juggler of clowns
is still just a part of the show
fancy parlour tricks done just so...
to entertain those in the know

Saturday, September 21, 2013


of things
yet to come
for you
the rules
don't count
time goes
out of order

Friday, September 20, 2013

you didn't really want to hear what i think, you just wanted to tell me i'm wrong

so crawl
back into your box
your deep dark hole
where you feel safe
where even the very idea
of freedom is banned
not allowed a voice
and cutting down trees
is called progress
because you can make
more boxes with them
so nobody is free, ever
and you can tell yourself
it's for their own good

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

why do rich people like to sit around and talk about what poor people need?

healing happens.

you can't make healing happen.
but you can stop doing things
that prevent healing from happening.

we don't need any more answers 
and solutions that don't work.
what we really need

is to ask better questions.

the trophy

someone left it
on the ground
in the park,
made of latex
and full of goo,
one fine morning
there were two!

Monday, September 9, 2013


how about, instead of supporting more institutions that serve to indoctrinate the youth into control-based society, we start supporting the mothers whose job is to care for them? how about, instead of sending those institutionalized youth off to prison when they make bad decisions, we start asking ourselves what happened to them that disabled their decision-making abilities in the first place? when do we stop coming up with solutions that never work because we aren't asking the right questions?

Thursday, September 5, 2013

divide and conquer

driving divisive rhetoric home
with emotional mindwash
so nobody will notice
political agenda at the wheel

be afraid...
there's always something
they want you to fight
join the group...
because you can't have war
without picking sides
fight the evil...
instead of working together
to solve any real problems

"you are either with us or you are against us"
how dare you not join the party! heretic!
off with her head!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

well.... bless your heart

i'm sorry all your heroes hated women
maybe they weren't all that, after all.
i'm sorry all your favorite books suck
because the female characters are flat
dull boring lifeless two-dimensional
or maybe just pure evil.
and i'm real sorry you think i should agree
that these things are acceptable
because they really aren't.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

not to anyone in particular

so is your friend
able to think for himself?
who does he work for?
the ministry of misinformation?
or does he just get his opinion
straight from propaganda outlets?
reading his remarks
made me feel like winston smith.
next thing you know
he'll be threatening us with rm101...

Thursday, July 4, 2013

july 4 annual rant

not quite sure how your professed religion of love fits in with your celebration of war today. if you wanna send out some love, send it to everyone who has been beaten down and oppressed for your illusion of freedom and superiority, send it to the soldiers that are dropping bombs on folks who never did anything wrong but to be poor and live in an area rich with resources that those in control of our government want, send it to the politicians who send those soldiers off to kill somehow thinking "thou shalt not kill" doesn't apply to them and their armies. maybe send the most love to yourself, so that you might heal from the mindrape inflicted upon all citizens of such a "free" society that allows you to not only accept such abuses, but to defend them.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


war is the expenditure of resources, including human lives (the best and the strongest healthy young men), to create debt with which to enslave the masses to the war machine through taxes. that's the part the history teachers leave out. they don't tell you about how war is the fastest way of transferring the world's wealth from the poor to the rich. armed conflict isn't the only kind of war that is waged by us, against us and our planet, but it is the showiest and the scariest and is relentlessly marketed to the masses as something "for the greater good"

Thursday, June 27, 2013

rights and liberties are piss-poor substitutes for freedom

words on paper
permission to be
a face in the crowd
a voice in the chorus
singing the praises
of privileges granted
by words on paper

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

giving thanks, every day

the control game self-destructs. 
the system is tearing itself apart.

as the system rips itself apart, 
more and more people 
are selling 
more and more fear 
in a last ditch attempt 
to maintain control. 

we don't have to live our lives 
defined by other people's fears.

those who are afraid will manifest their own worst nightmares as reality. we don't have to follow along on their bad trip.

when we allow ourselves to be led,
we don't get to choose where we are going.
it's up to us. all of us. each of us.

Monday at 1:02pm 

Monday, June 10, 2013

yesterday's facebook rant

when people allow themselves to be led, they don't get to decide where they are going.

i dreamt about giving birth last night. twice, two different/same dreams about having a baby. not a reliving of my own two very different birth experiences, something different. but like the birth of my second daughter attended by midwives at the hippie farm, these not-my-births were so very empowering. and i woke up with the realization that is what frightens people (the men who are in charge of hospitals and governments and armies and such) the most about natural childbirth, that a woman, even a teeny tiny little woman like myself, can do such a thing and not only live through it, but actually want to do it again. their power only comes from their size, or their wealth, but not from any inner fortitude. that's what frightens them. that is why we are a threat, to be beaten down into submission. because unleashed, what might that kind of power do? they are afraid, and don't realize real power isn't about hurting other people. so they puff themselves up, to appear larger, stronger, more powerful by the standard definition, to compensate for all that fear eating them up inside. that's what i think.

i think bullies are cowards. i think the fear is what makes them dangerous, because strong emotional triggers serve only to turn off the brain.

no matter how big and dumb you are, no matter how many guns you have, you can't command the continuance of the human species. that is up to the women. that frightens them, too. so they call it "murder" to decide not to have a baby, etc. and they treat pregnant women like inmates and hospitals are run like prisons, all just to dehumanize the women, to put us in our place, beneath them.

Sunday, June 9, 2013 at 9:07am

Saturday, June 1, 2013


to organize
and pick sides
is to join the war
rather than resisting it.
and it doesn't matter
which side
thinks they won,
when it's about war,
everyone loses.


anything is possible
nothing is certain

control or be controlled
are not the only options

Thursday, May 23, 2013

without belief in a one-world-religion, the people are not going to buy a one-world-government.

those who can only see their reflection are effectively blind.

it is the nature of the brainwash program to deny that it even exists. because once you recognize the attempt to control your mind, it doesn't work anymore.

religion is the objectification of spiritual experience, which is purely subjective. as such, it is a flawed model, inacurrately reflecting what is true, and not truth itself. models can be useful, but not when they get confused with that which they are reflecting. even the most perfect mirror can only give you an ass backwards reflection of what is real.

 and like all the other models, religion, government, social structure, all of them, they are all about control, and do not factor freedom into the equation. freedom throws it all out the window, if people were to decide for themselves.... well, then all those people who make it their job to decide for everyone else would be out of work.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

assimilate and die

(from monday, may 20, 2013, originally posted at facebook)
historically, the goal of authority has always been to substitute your subjective decision-making ability with objective law. if people don't believe in their own inner wisdom, it might as well not even exist. this is how you rule the world, through fear.
some even go so far as to deny there is any subject. we are all one (hive mind, borg)
people who are never allowed to make any decisions for themselves never learn how to make good decisions, keeps them dependent upon authority to tell them what to do.
they fear freedom because it isn't predictable. freedom would open up a world of infinite possibility, and those who seek the power to control (as well as those who have been beaten into submission by those control freaks) are too afraid to see what a wonderful thing that would be!
their fears will manifest their own worst nightmares as reality. that's gotta suck for them, real bad. you think they'd figure it out, but the fear prevents any rational thought from happening.
they start off by creating shame, by saying all people are basically evil and need to be controlled, or else horrible things will happen... (fear of freedom)
but every mother knows that babies aren't born evil. evil things have to happen to them to make them be that way. so women are targeted, as being the most evil, and need to be controlled most of all.

if it ain't free, it ain't freedom

"war is peace" etc.
paradox? or mindsplit?

(see also: cognitive dissonance)

you guru friend
not guru, wannabe
is full of shit.

but you already knew
what i think about that.

we weren't born
to obey the rules.
we were born
to live our life
our own lives
not The One
someone else
chose for us.

(monday, may 20, 2013)

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


day and night
don't fight
they take turns

Friday, April 19, 2013


i don't believe in atheism
but that doesn't mean
it might not be true, for you

Saturday, April 6, 2013

a world of infinite possibility

the meaning of life
is that you get to decide
what your life means.
there are no wrong answers,
except the ones other people tell you.
*and* you get to change your mind
at any time for any reason.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

smoke and mirrors

thoughts exist.
before the words.
words reflect thought.
they are not thoughts.
they are just words.
an imperfect mirror, at best.

we wrap ourselves
in the comfort of the mirror-world
created by the language
that has been engineered
to make us want to stay
inside the funhouse,
looking at twisty reflections
of what is real,
afraid to break free.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

true believers

what every religion preaches,
and what most people who call themselves religious forget,
is for you to listen for the voice of god within your own heart,
and to place no other voice above it.
if you aren't doing that, you're doing it wrong.

you have a direct line.
you don't need anyone to interpret or translate the message.
it speaks for itself.

the heart is the vessel, the cup, the holy grail.
they went looking in all the wrong places
for something they already had all along.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

just because we've all been fooled doesn't make us fools. what makes us fools is if we keep letting it happen over and over again.

rebel yell

the followers must follow
diluting the message,
watering it down
making it near meaningless.
this allows the organizers
to organize,
to be in charge,
manifesting more control
rather than the freedom
proclaimed by the rallying cry.

been there done that before
let's try something different

this time